Depression

Depression.

That’s the one thing that can change everyone’s opinion.

Marks.

People can shy away from you because they think you are dangerous

Rumors.

99% of the time they aren’t true, but people still spread them

Darkness.

The one place that you feel safe

Hopelessness.

When you just want to end it so

You do.

But you shouldn’t.  

You’re important

A star

You were created especially for the life you were given, and I know it’s not easy

But please

Please don’t give up

This is for the kids that are seeking a release.

The kids that can’t fathom that there is hope

The kids that get called weird, fat, ugly, hopeless

The kids that get told they are attention seekers,

The kids that spend their nights praying to God to take them now.

Cuts heal and turn into scars, to remind you of where you have been.

The pain you feel subsides for a little bit with every flick of a wrist and a thin, crimson streak.

Don’t go back there honey, I wish I could tell you that things will be better, but you just have to... Trust me.

I wish that I could take every person that self harms under my wing.

I wish I could croon you until you believed you are loved

I wish that you would believe that you are beautiful on the inside, and the outside

I wish that you would put down that knife, razor, flame, etc

and just give life a chance.

But I know better than that.

I know what you think of yourself,

I know what the consequences are when people discover what you do

I know how you feel because…

This is my life

This is what I’m going through

Everyday I walk into the sea of my depression.

I let the lies, the insults lap at my hips

As I move deeper, the searing pain from my arms calms my heart.

No longer can I breathe, totally engulfed by the toxicity

I sink to the floor, wanting to admire the sun one last time before I said goodbye.

Goodbye…

No.  I am better than this, I can survive

I can do this, I was put on this earth for a reason.

I’ve come so far, and hell, I ain’t stoppin’ now

So I kick.

I kick for the people that laugh at me

I kick for the people that say I can’t make it

I kick for the whispers that accompany me in school

I kick for the tears that escape my eyes at night

I kick for the blood that is sliced out of my body

I kick for the times I have to glue back together my heart

I keep kicking because I won’t let my inner demons win

I kick for the pain I feel from within my soul

I break the surface.  And I breathe.

The hardest part isn’t swimming back to shore, and

drying yourself off

It’s not letting yourself go back to that lake.

Never touching that pool of water

It’s not something that anyone can fix besides yourself.

You have to be your own knight in shining armor

And go face to face with the beings in your head that feed you lies

Every single person has personal battles, some of us just have war wounds

I’ll always have to fight this, but it’s a fight to the death

I will not let it kill me.

I will kill it.

My scars will fade into nothing but a memory.

The pain will be but a distant thought

I will smile a genuine smile

If you truly try hard enough, you will always find someway to win.

Depression.

Does not define you

Marks.

Serve as a reminder to never go back

Rumors.

Let you know that people are jealous of you

Darkness.  

Open your eyes and see the the beauty of

Hopelessness.

Erase all but the first four letters.

That’s all you need, you have to have hope, courage, and strength

You know what?

You do.